One of the most amazing things about culture is the way of life. It amazes me every time  I travel to a different country find many different ways that people live and interact. One can be amazed at the reception they get from individual families and at the same time be shocked by the community, and thus from the different encounters, they make conclusions. This however, depends on individuals and their perspectives on life. Our different experiences may determine how we react to other cultures. Culture in itself is a people’s way of life. Below are a number of definitions just copied off the internet.

• Culture is the systems of knowledge shared by a relatively large group of people.
• Culture is communication, communication is culture.
• A culture is a way of life of a group of people–the behaviors, beliefs, values, and symbols that they accept, generally without thinking about them, and that are passed along by communication and imitation from one generation to the next
• Culture consists of patterns, explicit and implicit, of and for behavior acquired and transmitted by symbols, constituting the distinctive achievement of human groups, including their embodiment in artifacts; the essential core of culture consists of traditional ideas and especially their attached values; culture systems may, on the one hand, be considered as products of action, on the other hand, as conditioning influences upon further action.
• Culture is the sum of total of the learned behavior of a group of people that are generally considered to be the tradition of that people and are transmitted from generation to generation.
• Culture is a collective programming of the mind that distinguishes the members of one group or category of people from another

These definitions all tie into the collection of ideas and behaviors of a society, transmitted over time to each new generation. The way of life of a people identifies them uniquely from another group. One of the things that anthropologists scholars emphasize on, is for us to appreciate the uniqueness of every culture. From experience, in as much as a culture looks similar to another, how they practice it may be different. The media has portrayed the beauty of many different cultures and anthropologist have dug up hidden cultures that have not yet been explored, making them fascinating. Based on the definitions, we need to ask ourselves if culture is a bad.

There are in every culture beautiful aspects that makes life look like paradise. When you take a look at this image below, it shows so much grace and beauty in how the women dance and smile in Korea.

  Taking it home to Africa, I will find children presenting during school events or the beautiful women of Rwanda gracefully dancing. They all give us glimpses of beauty and music in our cultures and these aspects of culture should by all means be appreciated and valued. They should be promoted and encouraged so as to pass on to the next generation.       Even people from outside have come to appreciate other cultures and their outfits. As I tried to look for artifacts of cutlure that represented Cameroon, I came across a photo that surprised me. I realized I knew a number of the people within the photo, and it gave me so much pride and joy. I would like to share with you the following photo of a friend.  Watching people like these beautiful ones on this photo appreciate another’s culture, gives us pride and joy, because culture invites others to be apart of its people.

However, culture becomes questionable, when valued aspects of it becomes a threat to individuals within it. What happens when culture become a threat to human security? Should we hold unto it and claim it as ‘part of our culture’ or should we revised those long held traditions? Let me get personal here. We live in the 21st century and my generation and the new generation are embracing different cultures and practices that are both good and bad. However, when our children and our young women pressured into doing something they do not want to be a part of, where then do we define beauty? Culture should be beautiful and inviting, such that others would like to be a part of it.

When did watching volleyball become a crime? Ghoncheh Ghavami, a British-Iranian woman has gone on hunger strike after being held in a Tehran prison for more than three months for attending a men’s volleyball match. What crime did she commit in the 21st century for watching a game of sport? As a government, what part of your culture are you selling to people? I know some people out there will tell me that she should have asked inquired. That will not be wrong. Was this only done to her or to other foreign women who had gone to watch the game? It really pains and hurts me when a country treats their own like dirt and treat outsiders like people. If you are going to enforce a law then let everyone be governed by the law. By enforcing such a law, a government might lose allies and create enemies and from within the country, nobody would want to be a part of it.

If you do not agree with me on the volleyball scenario, then help me understand the beauty in giving your 8-year-old daughter into marriage to pay off your debts to a man three times her age. In Nepal and especially Yemen, there’s no age limit at which a child can be given into marriage. Stories of children around the world have been told, and World Vision is an organization specifically tackling some of these issues. A report online on September 9th last year revealed that an 8-year-old girl died on her wedding night at the hands of yer 40-year-old husband. It is reported that she died from the trauma and physical practice of sex. Weddings are meant to be beautiful, celebrated by all and loved by all. In cultures were weddings are celebrated at the interest of one party, it deprives the bride the beauty and joy of being a wife. Children are decorated and given into marriage without their consent and they have a party thrown for them, and yet they are unaware. Child marriage was band in Yemen, but some people refused to have it legalized. Saying that their religion does not define the age at which a person should not be married. In the same country, an 8 year old was given into marriage to pay her father’s debt and two years later, she took her case to the court. How can a child be married at 8 and divorced at 10? She will never want to marry again. Read the full story by Cynthia Gorney ” Divorced at Age 10″.

Don’t get me talking about our cultures which basically take away the voices from children, such that they grow up believing that their opinions do not matter. By the time someone wants them to have a say, they will not know where to begin. I don’t need to go looking for an example far away. I grew up in a culture where I barely spoke, looked a grown up in the eye and questioned anything done by the grown ups. I went to school where I was basically told to do things a certain way and accept what the teacher told me as right. I did my best not to upset anyone and always tried to please people, not knowing I was doing harm to myself. When I tried expressing myself in the University, I didn’t know how to logically express my thoughts, such that my professors thought I was immature. I lost confidence in my abilities and skills and always thought myself inadequate. It is in my year as a master student that I started fighting back in my writing, my blogs and my daily life. I want to do everything and anything to speak out.

I wanted to share these stories because in my dissertation on child soldiers, I came across many references to culture, as being one of the reasons why International legal instruments are not functioning well. Basically, the argument is that International laws didn’t consider culture when designing the legal instruments for protecting child soldiers. Let’s go back to the earlier statement of how we live in the 21st century. Children nowadays want education, a good future and they have big dreams. Their parents encourage them to go to school and make a better future for themselves and the family, and they know very little about their parents and grandparent’s past. They are oblivious to the cultural practices, and if we continue to uplift cultural practices that bring harm to individuals, then we not only promote oppression, but also murder.

In Sri Lanka, child soldiering was prone because of the cultural aspects such as adult domination. Children were not allowed to complain when they got less food and were to accept what the adult said as right. Due to this practice within the culture, the different armed groups found children cheaper to use than adults, because they would give the children less food. This qualifies as starving a child and they also beat them up when they refused to do what they were told. Using the culture as a means to harm children is utterly unacceptable in the 21st century. It really kills and pains the heart when people who can make a difference sit around and pass judgment over laws that should protect children from such practices.

The Bible says in Matthew 5:30 “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell”. In our daily lives, we have friends and things that we love and care for. But if what we love and care for brings harm to us, then we should let go. If you have friends that do not add value to your life, especially if they always get you in trouble, then you should probably reconsider hanging out with those friends. In the same way, culture should build us and mould us and enrich us. However, if it start bringing harm to us, shouldn’t we re-evaluate it, so as to create harmony?

Maybe I have just babbled my way up till this point. If you have not understood anything I have said, then look into your culture and ask yourself if you accept every little thing that is happening. If not, what can you as an individual do to contribute to making a difference? Is Culture BAD?

Every night before I go to sleep, I try to read a psalm. Surprisingly, I have gained far more understanding this time around than during the few times I read them over the years. Last night just happened to be one of those times where I read Psalm 73, and the words simply would not leave me alone.

This specific passage perfectly captures the bitter frustration that almost everyone feels when looking at the systemic corruption in governments around them. I don’t think anyone can honestly deny feeling a flash of jealousy toward those who prosper through dishonesty. We see them driving luxury cars and seeming to have everything going for them without a single struggle. They appear completely free from common human burdens, using their wealth to shield themselves from life’s hardships. Yet, the Bible exposes the reality beneath the glamour, describing them as prideful, arrogant, and clothed in violence:

“From their callous hearts comes iniquity; their evil imaginations have no limits. They scoff, and speak with malice; with arrogance they threaten oppression. Their mouths lay claim to heaven, and their tongues take possession of the earth. Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. They say, ‘How would God know? Does the Most High know anything?’ This is what the wicked are like—always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.” (Psalm 73:7–12)

Though these words are millennia old, they became vividly real to me during a recent conversation with my flatmates about employment and salaries in Latvia. My flatmate mentioned that the highest-paid individuals there are government employees; remarkably, even government cleaners earn more than the average working citizen. How do they secure these coveted roles? Through relatives who already “lay claim” to the system.

This immediately reminded me of my African Politics course, where we analyzed the “patron-client networks” that put entire nations in jeopardy. Listening to this young man, I realized that Africa is not the only continent struggling under the weight of “callous hearts.” From Eastern Europe to Sub-Saharan Africa, the human condition remains unchanged. We see the exact same systemic reality: a global network where corrupt privilege passes seamlessly down the line through nepotism, while qualified individuals are pushed aside. What we witness in our modern capitals is the exact geopolitical manifestation of what the Psalmist wrote about thousands of years ago.

Our leaders stand in front of cameras, “speaking with malice” and lying directly to our faces. They make promises they never intend to keep and sign international treaties that will never be implemented. Because their “evil imaginations have no limits,” they hire only those related to them, leaving highly qualified citizens trapped in minimum-wage jobs far below their skill levels. Meanwhile, they treat the unemployed and the vulnerable with spite, insult, and disdain.

Witnessing this widespread injustice inevitably forces us to confront the same haunting questions the ancient writer faced: Where is God in all of this? Does He not see the pain being inflicted? “Does the Most High know anything?”

So many times, people have asked me where God is when their lives are collapsing. Blinded by tragic circumstances, they conclude that God must not care about them, and they refuse to let Him play any part in their lives. It is incredibly difficult to tell someone that God loves them without sounding hollow when their reality feels completely abandoned. How do I look at an unemployed mother of two whose house is disappearing, who faces homelessness in a few weeks because her childcare support claims were denied, and tell her everything will be alright? How do I convince her that her cries do not just echo in an empty room?

The Psalmist wrestled with the exact same wall of divine silence. The Bible is not an irrelevant, outdated text; it is an ancient mirror reflecting our modern crises. Our deepest doubts are not unique, and our thoughts echo the desperation of those who lived thousands of years ago. The Psalmist directly identifies with our daily sense of defeat, writing: “Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been afflicted, and every morning brings new punishments.” (Psalm 73:13–14).

How many of us have begged God for a miracle over the last few years, only to be met with silence? How many of us have pondered these exact issues without finding answers? We seem to be the ones changing, breaking, and hurting, while the corrupt world around us stays exactly the same.

But I ask you right now to stop simply nodding your head in passive agreement with these questions. If our faith stops at just asking questions, our journey through life becomes meaningless. As I read on last night, I reached a turning point where I kept telling myself: Surely, there has to be more to this than just complaining. Please let there be a resolution.

Sure enough, there was. The narrative shifts completely when the Psalmist writes: “When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny.” (Psalm 73:16–17).

This is precisely why I chose to reread the Psalms—to understand how these ancient writers managed such raw human emotions. They did not pretend everything was fine; they brought their chaotic, confused, and bitter thoughts directly into an open conversation with God. Crucially, however, the Psalmist did not complain like someone without hope. He realized that to get real answers, he had to leave the brokenness of the world behind and go straight to the source: the Creator.

When he entered that sanctuary, his perspective shifted from temporary injustice to eternal truth. Though corrupt people in power get away with trampling others now, they cannot escape the boundaries God has set. Nothing was hidden from God in the days of Noah, Abraham, or the Psalmist. When humanity arrogantly built the Tower of Babel, God observed them and said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language…” (Genesis 11:6–7). In the exact same way, God sees every systemic injustice and every ounce of pain modern governments inflict on the vulnerable. As Solomon pointed out, there is truly nothing new under the sun.

The Psalmist’s ultimate conclusion provides a striking, sobering perspective on those who abuse power to rise: “How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors! They are like a dream when one awakes; when you arise, Lord, you will despise them as fantasies.” (Psalm 73:19–20).

As unfair as their current prosperity seems, this realization changes how we view them. Instead of envying them, we should feel a sense of relief that we do not share their ultimate fate. Their final destiny will not be as sweet as the temporary paradise they have built for themselves on earth. Nothing is hidden from God.

Like the Psalmist, I do not consider worldly wealth to be of ultimate importance. My prayer is simply for God to grant me enough to do the work He has called me to do here on earth. It remains a profound challenge to look someone in the eye when they are blinded by tragic circumstances and tell them that God cares. But of one thing I am absolutely certain: He keeps His promises. We cannot truly experience the comfort of that truth, or the justice of His sanctuary, until we totally surrender who we are to Him.

Some stories take time to tell. Some memories sit quietly in the heart until God gives them purpose. This is not my whole story, but it is part of the story God has been writing in me—a story of loss, longing, healing, and discovering the Father I had been searching for all along.

A Childhood Marked by Absence

I was two and a half years old when my father divorced my mother and left. My twin brother and I were too young to understand what had happened, but his absence left a space I carried for years. I grew up moving from village to village in Cameroon, watching my mother endure rejection, hardship, and grief while still trying to care for us.

There were places where we were not welcomed and seasons when love felt far away. Even as a child, I noticed the pain in my mother’s eyes. I remember crying when she cried, trying in my own small way to comfort her. Those early years taught me that a person can be surrounded by people and still feel unwanted.

Growing Up Between Worlds

At nine, I started school. A year later, I moved to the capital city to live with my aunt, and that is where I met the woman I now call my grandmother. I arrived from the village speaking only Kom, my native language. School was confusing, humbling, and sometimes funny. I was older than many of the children in my class, and being called “grandmother” was not funny then, though I can smile about it now.

God was already making room for me. He gave me a mind for calculations, and by the end of my first term, I came second in class. Education became one way God reminded me that my beginning did not have to define my ending.

The Ache for a Father

Through my teenage years, I longed for a father. When friends talked about their fathers, something inside me hurt. I wanted to be treasured, protected, corrected with love, and chosen. I wanted someone to stay.

God placed people in my life who helped shape me, especially my grandmother and my uncle. My grandmother and I had to learn each other. We came from different cultures, misunderstood one another, hurt one another, and slowly learned how to forgive, laugh, and love. My uncle was firm and sometimes difficult for me to understand, but looking back, I can see that both of them helped rescue me in different ways.

The Prayer That Changed Everything

At sixteen, after years of wishing for a father, I lay on a bed and spoke to God. I told him I had heard about his love. I told him I wanted to change but did not know how. Then I asked him the question that had been living in my heart: “Lord, I do not have a father. Can you please be my Father?”

That was the day I found my Father. I did not change overnight, and the journey was not easy. I experienced spiritual battles, fear, and nightmares. But as I called out to God, he met me. He rescued me. He surrounded me with light where darkness had tried to remain.

What I Know Now

At eighteen, I fully gave my life to God. I began to understand that the love I had been searching for could not be fully supplied by any human being. God became the Father who did not leave, the One who knew me completely and loved me still.

He has taught me to love my family, to see people with compassion, and to carry a burden for children who feel forgotten. There are many children walking through life without anyone to remind them that they matter. I know what that ache feels like, and I believe God is calling me to love others with the love he first gave me.

If You Feel Forgotten

If you feel unloved, abandoned, ashamed, or unseen, I want you to know that God has not forgotten you. There is a place inside each of us that only he can fill. People may disappoint us. Life may wound us. The world may tell us our worth depends on success, beauty, money, status, or approval. But God speaks a better word over us: loved.

Call out to him. He will meet you in your pain, walk with you through your healing, and fill the empty places with a love that does not fail. That is the love that found me, and that is the love I pray you come to know too.

We know that grace is the free and unearned favour of God, a divinely given talent or blessing. About.com Christianity explains grace as ‘God’s unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don’t deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration (rebirth) or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine favor.’ in other words on the same website, it is God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

I don’t know about you, but I find it very weird to hear people praying for a good 5 minutes asking God for his Grace. God offered his grace to us when we were still sinners. Jesus death on the cross for our sins was not because he had to, but because he wanted to. When we acknowledge that great love, in believing that Christ died for our sins, he was buried and rose again, then we received salvation. We are set free from sin and its consequences. 

We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. 1 John 4:13-16a.

CONFESSION OF SINS

This tells me that we received his grace, his free gift, when we acknowledge our sins, and his atonement for our sins. If we sin again, all we need to do is confess our sins, because he never took back his grace from us. His grace once given remains with us and we are accountable to him every day of our lives. So when I hear Christians asking God for grace upon their life, I question whether they are asking for salvation or what exactly grace means? I understand grace as God’s free gift to me, which I did not deserve. That grace was already offered to me and is still stands with me since I accepted it. Now if I sin against God, I know that I have to admit my sins and believe that he is faithful and will forgive me as his word promises in 1 John 1:9. In prayer, I believe we need to acknowledge God’s grace that was given to us, and confess our sins, when we realize how foolish and weak we have been. 

I think we need to remember this, I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me: and that life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith which is in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me. Galatians 2:20. God is faithful and will not abandon his children. His grace is always with us, and we ought to live in faith knowing he will never undo what he has already done for us. We need to live in acceptance of the grace that’s always there. It becomes questionable when we keep asking for it, when it is there.

I thought I should share this, because it has been on my heart for a while and more strongly last night. We pray to God because we are faced with situations that we don’t know what to do with. Yet we recognize that he alone can do something about it. We have no power or authority, but he has that power and authority, which he grants us to do the impossible. His grace allows us to come to him and allows us to have faith in him. Brothers and sisters, have faith and trust in God’s promises in his word.

1 Help, Lord, for no one is faithful anymore;
those who are loyal have vanished from the human race.
2 Everyone lies to their neighbor;
they flatter with their lips
but harbor deception in their hearts.

3 May the Lord silence all flattering lips
and every boastful tongue—
4 those who say,
“By our tongues we will prevail;
our own lips will defend us—who is lord over us?”

5 “Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan,
I will now arise,” says the Lord.
“I will protect them from those who malign them.”
6 And the words of the Lord are flawless,
like silver purified in a crucible,
like gold[c] refined seven times.

7 You, Lord, will keep the needy safe
and will protect us forever from the wicked,
8 who freely strut about
when what is vile is honored by the human race.

Read more at https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/search=Psalm+12&version=NIV#yhVYTdYEkrqFxe8o.99

A few days ago, I read Psalm 12 and then went to sleep. For several days afterward, its words kept coming back to me, and this morning I decided to write about it. David cries out to God for help because he feels he can no longer trust anyone around him. No one seems to do what is right, and the faithful appear to have vanished. Who is still loyal? Who is still godly? David then calls on the Lord to silence those who boast, flatter, and speak as though they are beyond correction. His anguish over the loss of faithfulness and justice drives him to call out to the Lord for help.

God hears David’s cry and answers him: “Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise…I will protect them from those who malign them.” In response, David affirms a powerful truth about God—one that I often forget, and I believe many of us do too. How often do we stop in our tracks and say, “The words of the Lord are flawless”? David understood God’s authority, and that is why he ran to Him in the first place. When God answered his cry, David reminded himself of God’s faithfulness, likely drawing from his own experiences of the difficult situations God had already brought him through. This verse kept returning to me. I found myself walking down the street, repeating the line over and over in my mind. When I prayed, the words came out of my mouth, reminding me that God’s Word is true and that He is without fault.

One of the things that had also been weighing heavily on my mind was the issue of Israel and Palestine, and the innocent people being bombarded day and night. I had also been thinking about Boko Haram in Nigeria and the violence spreading across the border into Cameroon. After reading this psalm, along with the previous psalms, I prayed deeply for the innocent people who have been killed or abducted because of someone else’s interests, ambitions, or personal gain. Where is justice when the defenseless and the innocent are targeted?

It just so happened that a friend who was visiting had similar questions about Israel and Palestine. God chose the nation of Israel for a reason, but should we stand by and watch innocent people be killed? What would Jesus do in the situation in Gaza? Would He say, “Kill the Palestinians and save Israel,” or would He extend His love and healing to both sides? The people of Gaza include civilians who have nothing to do with the war. When a bomb is launched, does it distinguish between a soldier and a civilian? No. It does not have a mind of its own. It has one objective: to land somewhere and explode, causing destruction to whatever is nearby. One news report about protests in Husan, near Bethlehem, described how the violence in Gaza stirred grief and anger in the West Bank. Ibrahim Hamamra said emotions were high because of “the scene of the massacre in Gaza,” and the report noted that clashes began after evening prayers during Ramadan, when Israeli soldiers were positioned near the village mosque and some young men began throwing stones. The same report said Hamamra’s brother, Mohammed Al Aaraj, a father of three, was shot during the unrest, while the Israel Defence Forces said he was struck with a rubber bullet (The Peninsula Qatar, 2014).

What, then, should we be doing as Christians? David sets a powerful example for us to follow: cry out for help to the One who can do something about the chaos. Many times, God has reminded us in His Word of His sovereignty, and like David, we should look to Him. His Word is flawless. When He says, “I will protect them from those who malign them,” we can respond in faith and say together, “O Lord, You will keep those innocent families safe and protect them from such people forever.”

Who is my enemy? Who is your enemy? What did Jesus say about our enemies? What did He say about the oppressed? These are the questions I wrestle with when I think about the Old Testament and the events that took place. Jesus came to give us hearts of love, no matter the situation, and to teach us to trust and believe that His Word is true and should not be doubted. Before we decide that either side deserves destruction, we should ask ourselves whether children, women, and men without weapons deserve to die. God’s love extends to everyone, and what He asks of us as His followers is to see things differently from the way the world sees them.

Bibliography

Bible Gateway. “Psalm 12, New International Version.” Bible Gateway. Accessed July 25, 2014.

The Peninsula Qatar. “Gaza Conflict Stirs Violence in West Bank; One Killed.” The Peninsula Qatar, July 25, 2014.

I woke up this morning and was wondering how I would spend time with God. As I sat quietly, a conversation I had with a friend, on esteem flash through my mind. A voice said ‘Share your story’, and that’s when I knew what my conversation with God and the circle of friends reading this would be.

About 12 years ago, I got pimples on my face a year after I hit puberty. That didn’t bother me much, because I had seen my aunt’s pimples treated. Three years later, the pimples were aggravated, and I was blamed for pinching them and doing all what nots, which wasn’t true. It didn’t help that I was a sports person and spent half my days playing under the sun. After playing, my face would be burning even after the sun had gone down. We went and saw a doctor who prescribed some pills. The pills messed up my hormonal system. They were given in line with pills for my knees. So I stopped the pills altogether. The pimples disappeared for a while and reappeared.

For a while, I refused to concentrate on my appearance, because it just brought depression. I wondered what people thought when they looked at my face.  Over the years, people gave me all sorts of advice to do this; do that. I kept asking God why he could not just take it away. He was able to heal the lame, raise the dead and heal the woman who had been suffering for years. Why couldn’t he just take this away from me?

Four years at university, I refused to let it bother me, but towards my last year in 2012, I went to see a dermatologist. I was not too happy when she asked  me what I have been using on my face, and if the sun aggravated my pimples.  She prescribed  pills, cream and lotion and told me to come back after a month.

I had hoped for an explanation, a screen test on my face and the reason why I had had this for years. Well, I went home and obediently took the pills, and had my face burnt by the cream. Everyone asked me what I did to my face, which did not help me at all. I was sick from internal bleeding for a week and got a fever. It was about two weeks before one of my dear sisters traveled  back to her home country, and she wanted a roomie photo. Now looking back, I was not particularly thrilled about the photos, because my face looked scared and battered. I felt really ugly and unfit to see myself.

To cover my feelings up, I switched into my old self, which used to be ‘Tom boy’. As long as I acted tough, nothing could get to me. That was a lie I kept telling myself. I wanted to feel beautiful and pretty. It didn’t help that my friends called me pretty. I am grateful that they did.

After I moved to the cooler parts of Nairobi, the temperature improved my face along with aloe vera scrub and honey soap that I had found. My pimples began to disappear, allowing me to feel pretty and happy. It started dawning on me that I had for years, thought myself ugly because of my pimples. I had defined my happiness based on how I looked and what people thought of me. I broke down and told God I was sorry. I asked him to take it away once and for all. I was talking and not listening as I have always done half the time. I went back to see the dermatologist, but she was not there and I never went back. My face cleared up and I was able to take a photo.  Everyone wanted to know my secret, but I had no secret to tell. I just explained exactly what had happened, not to mention that I was in the hospital for a week going through other treatments. I do believe those many injections and pills had something to do with the quick recovery on my face. So for 8 months I enjoyed a cleared pretty face.

A week before my departure to home, Cameroon, , I went back to the campus where I had lived for 3.5 years. With the hard water there, my pimples came back like they never left. O my word! I could not believe it. “I am going home and was hoping to show my mother my face without pimples and now I have nothing to show but more pimples”. I felt back into depression, although I had smiles on my face. I lost confidence in many things and just wanted to hide my face, especially now that I had given up my coping mechanism and just wanted to be a normal lady.

I travelled to England and could not stand some of the stares people gave me. I just wanted to go home and stay with my family. I asked God to help me find my inner happiness. Tears flowed down my face as I laid there in pain and sadness. After praying for days on end, a peace came over me and I went and saw a dermatologist, who screened my face.  I was relieved when he found that I had been suffering from Acne.

There’s mild acne, which causes blackheads here and there, but then disappear, and there’s the aggressive acne that’s hormonal based. We are born with male and female genes, XY, and some people tend to have one of the others dominate. I was not surprised when he explained that I had quit an amount of male hormones that were aggravating my acne suppressing my female hormones. What are the odds taken that I have a twin brother?

So he gave me pills to take every day 2 hrs before I eat or 2 hrs after I eat. I was also given a cream to put every night. My treatment began in October 2013, and I have been on it till now July 19^th 2014. The first 3 months showed no signs of improvement, so he added another pill, which is used for birth control as well as treating acne. This is only used for aggressive acne and for the purpose of treating the acne. So I was placed on it for 6 months.

I prayed very hard for God to bring healing in my heart, so that I could enjoy the benefits of the appearance. I felt like a load had been lifted off my heart, but then there was that lingering feeling; who was I trusting? I felt like I was betraying my trust in God. Then he brought me comfort through his word, reminding me of his love and affirmation of who I have always been in him. I am his daughter and he loves me for who I am. He wants me to be happy and doctors are his hands on earth. He will use them to bring healing to his children when they trust and obey him. As I marvelled at his love and trust, my facial appearance became smooth and shining.

I realized that in my years of unworthiness, I had found comfort in depression, which blocked out God’s voice. His healing could not reach me, because I had given up hope. I had trusted him to heal my knee and he did, so why hadn’t I done the same for my face? Being able to know that I was suffering from something and not just the foods I ate enabled me to know that I could be cured. True healing for me as I can see now, didn’t come just from the meds I was taking, but it came from the acceptance that I was pretty despite my acne. I made a decision to be happy even when everything is telling me no. I would say yes to life, yes to joy and yes to love even when my mind was struggling to comprehend what I was doing. It was not a coping mechanism, but a choice to be me. This happiness from within brought out the best in me.

God’s healing begins with our hearts, when we can truly accept our situation and understand that he is in control. I see myself over the years and my pictures today; I know I have a testimony to share.

”Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear” 1 Peter 3:3-6

Every day is learning experience for me, and I praise God and thank him for every situation that enables me to draw closer to him and to understand his ways. In the silence of my room two minutes after i woke up, I realized i have not really sat down to give God the glory. So I share this with you in hopes that it will help you find your true happiness and healing. True healing comes from a partnership with God inside.